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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

UnPlug Communicate



 

 I sat there at the dining room table and I watched the kids for
awhile. They were rotating between TV, Kindle, Laptop,
Tablet, I-pod, Video games and phones. How did we become
so plugged in? It seems like technology has just rocketed right out
there. Seemingly that is where my kids are out there.  It was
disturbing to me to watch. Sweet Pea went to ask Superboy
something and an argument ensued. Mostly because he wasn't giving
her his attention. It really broke my heart to realize how much these
devices have taken over our home. I have always had technology
rules, such as laptops have to be in a designated area so I could see
what they were up to and they have to be "My friend everywhere"
Honestly though it is becoming harder and harder to monitor.
Monitoring it though isn't as disturbing as how engrossed they
have become to the point that I wonder are they living a virtual
life and not a real one? I can only imagine what they are missing
here in real life. Now granted it is nice to easily connect with friends
who live out of state or who we rarely see but the connection
is becoming lost on me.

I noticed too that there were times they weren't even looking at one
another  when they talked. Now this has always been a big peeve
of mine. I hate the cellphones. Well I don't hate the cell phone,
what I hate is that they are attached to people. To me a phone is to
connect with someone briefly and move on with my day. I really
don't want people to be able to reach me where ever I am. As you can
tell I'm not a lover of the phone. Now  I do see them having value
for emergency purposes but when we have them on 24/7 texting
and surfing the web., well that's not a value.

Recently at my 8 year olds Dentist appointment we choose a seat in
the corner of the waiting room.  I sat there not really noticing anyone at
first as my son animatedly  finished his conversation.   Now I tend to be
a talker to anyone that would like to chat so I scanned the room. I mean
what else will I do for an hour. The room was full about 11 people not
counting us. My son noticed it first. He said Look and pointed around the
room. Not one person acknowledged we had walked in the room. They all
every single one of them had their devices. Seriously I could have been
a murderer and no one would have sneezed at me. Now I get it they
were in a dental office awaiting an appointment but folks I have had some
fun dental appointment conversations with actual people and this day
the room was full. There was so much opportunity there to meet
new people but it was lost on them. They were far off in the devices.


Anyway back to my kiddos...

So along with this new device addiction came about a bit
of a centered on me attitude. A don't bother me type of issue.
Along with that don't bother me came shortness. Do you know what
I mean? Well if not what I mean is when someone talks to you and  you
feel you are so busy that you give them the short answer. Yep, ok , Yeah,
I  know, whatever... you get the idea. And the reality of that is that they
probably didn't really hear you. I can't tell you how many times I have
said something to one of them only to have them ask me a few
seconds later the things I had just addressed them about. It can be
really frustrating.  On top of that I have noticed more arguments.
Our new virtual worlds just can't take precedence over human
physical interaction. It is good for no one. The kids are arguing
over simple conversation. Have we gotten so lazy with our
devices that we don't have time to communicate and to listen .

 

(Sweet Pea pretending she is angry. Ha ha love that smirk) 




In my bible study the other week I came across this passage.


Ephesians 4:29, 31-32

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,
but only what is helpful for building others up according to
their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Get rid of all bitterness , rage and anger, brawling and slander,
along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to
one another , forgiving each other, Just as Christ Forgave you.


Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths.
I felt like it was talking to me. Talking to my family. They are online
in a world that is full of unwholesome talk. My son recently has been
into the minecraft game. Actually both sons have been playing the app.
He often puts on headphones and listens to these gamers make commentary
while they play. I never thought there would be harm in that but watch out
it depends on who the gamer is that is recording. Some of the language
was repeated by my 8 year old. I asked where he got that word from and
his brother said Minecraft videos. I didn't realize and felt so dumb for not
checking. I am always so careful to monitor. Needless to say no more
minecraft videos unless moms can screen them first. Beware of You tube.


Only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs
that it may benefit those who listen.

This name calling thing it just sort of grew. They started out calling silly
almost loving names but it soon changed. I did not like what I was hearing.
This wasn't learned from me.



Be kind and compassionate to one another

That simple act of taking time for one another. Taking time to really
listen and to handle the things of life that needed handled were not
longer being handled . They just go swept right in. How as their
mom did I allow that to happen.





(Sweet peas other so called angry face)



I read an article not to long ago that they are having to have
therapy sessions for kids because they are addicted to the internet.
A real Addiction that requires help because they can't stop without it.
Very scary that this things called social media has stepped right into
our lives without us even realizing it. 



(Spirit is good at the pretend angry face) 



Realizing all of this I decided to stop the screen time. Stop it Now.
There is a limited time for each day. 1 hour of games 1 hour of TV.
That is all and if you don't do your chores or work hard in school
during lesson time then I reserve the right to take that screen time
away. I won't .. I refuse to have my kids waste their time with a box. 



(Superboy kept laughing he could not do a pretend angry face ha ha) 




So that is it my conclusion. So far it has worked pretty well. I do get
nagged often about if they can have more time and so on . When that
happens I subtract time so they know now not to ask. Moms and dads
we have to stay diligent in our kids lives. Keeping them to living.

It sure can be a hard job.


Warm Blessings,

Nikki
 

2 comments:

  1. Nikki, love, love, love this post and I wholeheartedly agree. I, too, have been at a place and notice that the people (kids included) are all looking at a device. It saddens my heart. I have always limited time for my children but yet, sometimes when I'm busy, like you say, it becomes hard to monitor. I especially hate the arguments that come about because of electronics.

    I don't know if you will be reviewing the Captivated DVD? I will be and I've decided that we're going to watch it as a family this weekend.

    I'll be sharing this!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don't have internet on my phone, so I usually take along a book or my Kindle to read. I don't have internet on my Kindle or my iPad unless I'm at home. Since my work involves the computer, I have to limit myself from it or I would never get any work done. I think you did the right thing. I find myself not really paying attention when someone's talking to me, if I'm on the internet. :(

    ReplyDelete

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