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Thursday, November 17, 2011

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I have noticed lately a huge upswing in moods with my Middle
school son. I suppose just as I am thinking and pondering
his boyhood to manhood he may inadvertently be thinking
on it himself. We often look at the way society sees women
but forget what role a young man may have to face.

We expect men to be strong, to not show emotion, to
respect women but be open to their needs and emotions.
We expect protection, leadership, and faithfully caring for
their family. All of the things that I wrote about last week
plus some. There is a heavy burden on these young men.

This week my heart is saddened. We received a phone
call last night that our step nephew committed Suicide.
The burden of life must have been to great. I wonder
with my whole heart what went wrong. This was a boy
who always was so cheerful to everyone. What filled this
young male with such grief. He was just beginning adult
life at the young age of 20. This news has been very
devastating to the family as you can imagine. As a mother
my thoughts go to my boys. The fear of that situation
Is heart wrenching.

So yet again I think on what I can do to help elevate
this stress in my son/ sons and yet still lead them to
a leadership position in life that isn't scary or to difficult.

My first thought is not to push to early for Independence.
To allow him to move forward at his pace. I really feel
as if I have been doing a lot of pushing. There is a nice
middle there of getting things done and not over extending.

Always always give affection just as you would your
daughters. This one is difficult at times as boys become
embarrassed by the attention at a certain age from their
mothers. Yet I think it is important to express anyway you
can your love for your child.

Let him know that real boys do cry. When I first found out
I had a son I wanted him to be sensitive. I heard that
if you allowed your small son to play with dolls they would
learn a heart for caring for others. Superboy has a huge heart.
I have not idea if it came from dolls but I want him to also
know that he can tell me how he feels. There is no embarrassment
of putting yourself out there. Communication communication.

I want him to learn that it is ok to be weak and show

weakness and Fear. We all do. None are perfect.

When my son does open up to talk. I will make sure I

am there ready to listen. I will tell you time and again
Listening and communicating is the key to getting
through these years with a happy smile.

I also am aware that my son does not respond to our
talks as quickly as his sisters might. He likes to think
about it for awhile before he chooses what he thinks. I have
noticed this with other males in our church congregation. They
ponder first. I pledge to allow this leadership quality
to grow.

This boyhood to man thing is a huge undertaking. One
I won't take lightly.

Warm Blessings,
Nikki

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