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Saturday, August 20, 2011

To Much or To Little



Much of the time I hear parents talking about teens
that are not supervised. You know the ones I am
talking about . They can be rather rude , roaming
your neighborhood, and ruining property. With these
teens it is obvious that they are probably not receiving
the attention they require or the parent is possibly
being to harsh and they are acting out in reaction to
the strict discipline. There are mountains of reasons
for this type of behavior we could analyze it all day.

Lately however I have noticed a large amount of moms
that are well... to involved. They are still out there
trying to fix their child's problems and I am talking
every problem. It has surpassed them that
their children have grown up. You know you have
met one of these parents when you suddenly feel as
if you are the one in school again. Completely involved
in that social drama of who said what and who did what.
It is especially difficult if your child is pulled in the
situation. Suddenly instead of the teens handling
things you have this parent who is super imposing
on their child. (which will also cause rebellion)
Sure there are times when it is necessary to jump in and help .
They are still learning and developing as to what is safe and sure.
But if you are getting involved in the he said she did drama
then probably its time to give your child some
resources as to handling these type of situations. It is
time for mom to sit out. Communication is a skill we
all need to work on at times.

1- Avoid gossip it is not impolite to excuse yourself
and walk away. If someone is talking about someone
else more than likely they are talking about you too.

2- Reverse the theory- If you are talking about someone
to a friend they will feel you are not trust worthy. That
you are probably talking about them. Hold you tongue.

3- Don't put it in writing. (advice from grandma)
Don't write anything to personal on paper or it may
be used against you. Do not write everything
you feel on Facebook.

4- Pray- if something is bothering your child
encourage them to pray.

If a parent needs to get involved just remember
that your child probably made some mistakes in this
situation as well. Make sure you give your child and the other
children a chance to work it out first. This is the last resort for a
parent to get involved. Listen first before you react because
no one wants to hear bad things about their child.
Right away you hit the defense. My child doesn't lie.
Or my child doesn't talk about others. Just hang on and
remember we are all human. More than likely both sides
are adding to the fire. If talking doesn't work then
separation from a friend for a time might be the way
to go. Just please make sure the problem is worthy of
a parent involvement. To often we are quick to jump in.
We are not able to fix every hurt as our children grow.
oh , I know we'd like to . It is hard to see your child
hurting. Think back on your life and you will know that
hurting sometimes helps you grow.


God bless,

Nikki

2 comments:

  1. Very good advice:) I have been told parent that are too involved are called helicoptor parents as they are always hovering around the children. I have met many.:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great advice, girl. I have to tell my girls constantly about staying out of the drama. Some girls just thrive on that stuff. Thank goodness they aren't in that everyday. There's even drama at church (where my girls see it). My youngest will say she's going to do this or that and I have to tell her to be nice, don't say anything you'll regret, etc.
    Have a blessed day!

    ReplyDelete

Welcome to my blog. All comments will be answered here on my blog Thanks for commenting and stopping by.
Nikki

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