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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Slice of Life...Changing Gears








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I'm adjusting to change. Each day I am adjusting
and readjusting. Things change on me way to fast.
My oldest little one is all grown up and starting to drive a
car. Yesterday we went out driving again. I have to
hold my breath at times and let her drive. I can feel
my body tense just as hers is and I try so to relax.
I can feel my feet inadvertently pressing into the floor.
Her speeds Max at 30 miles an hour yet as she
approaches this speed my nerves go. Each time
she drives she becomes more confident. Each time
I lose her a little more, with driving she will have
more independence. One day soon she will fly
away from the home. Lucky for me she is commuting
to college.

She isn't quit ready for the big
highways or even roads with much traffic. We
stick to the country roads. Taking it slow and easy
just as we did when she was a little one learning
to walk. She was so cautious and it took her quit
sometime. One day her daddy held a toy high and
she stood right up to get what she wanted.
Walking took a little longer. She was timid about
it and reserved but eventually she was toddling
from one thing to another.

I pull along the road after going through some
traffic and we switch places. I am more tense
this day as the car is filled with all 5 of my babies.
My oldest son squeals and searches for a plastic
bag teasing sister that he is going to be sick. I
fuss them for teasing her but might need that plastic
bag myself. She adjusts her mirrors and pulls out.
At one point a car is behind us and she finds a
spot to get off the road and flag the anxious drive
past. They all look at us as if we are in some
sort of circus act. This does not change her mood.
I see the determination in her eyes. She stops at
each stop sign. I remind her once to turn her turning
signal on. We have one more scary feat where we
have to travel down a tight windy road. The
hill is so high that you can't see over the top as
you approach it. Her sister and brother egg her on.
She wants to switch places with me but peer
pressure pushes her down that hill. I situate
myself in my seat so I can simulate braking.
It makes me feel better. The bottom of the ride
scares me most as there are lose stones and
gravel to slide upon. She maneuvers it perfectly.



Eventually we pull off again and switch places.
I adjust the seat and my muscles relax.
I drive us the rest of the way home with mixed
emotions. Life is ever changing.


Nikki









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