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Saturday, May 7, 2011

Changes and Promises

Today I want to celebrate the life of my oldest Child.

No it's not her birthday but the day after a
college day. A day at college brings thoughts.

It is the beginning of so many changes

for her. I see this photo she took of her and sweet pea and it's
almost a mirror of who she was and how far she has come.
It's so hard sometimes to let go of that little girl I held so
dear. Change can be hard and endearing at the same time.
How did this happen so fast? You have become such a
strong young women just as I had hoped you would.

Dear Heart,

It is so difficult to think of you as an adult. I worked so hard for
so long to spend special time with you amongst bouncing back and
forth to dads and grandmas. It took so much to stay connected
to you but was so worth the relationship that we have.

I think of the day you were born lately more often than I
care to admit. How sweet your little face was. That giggle
that would light my world and still does. You have
such a way with people that amazes me. You change the
mood of our entire home. It is different when your not
there and busy with things in your new beginning. You have the
ability to do something really great. Greatness can be simple. I sit back
in awe of you and your outgoing personality. No matter what you
do it will be perfect for you.

I am struggling now more than you probably realize to find
my place with you as your mom. I know that it is different and
will be but It's hard to find where I should be sometimes.
Just as I did when you were little and fell I want to rush
in and fix it all for you. I have to hold back and allow
you to fall so you learn the things that I learned. I want
to tell you all my life lessons so that you will miss the falls.
Somethings you have taken to heart and some you
will have to find on your own. I know you have to find your
own way. The protective mom is me wants to shield you in.

Yesterday as I was passing into the Valley I had a bright
sun behind me and a storm in front of me. As I entered
the trees I saw the most amazing rainbow. It was the
clearest I had ever seen in my life and it was reflecting
itself. I literally said out loud WOW , Gods Promise.
Then I thought of you and wished you were there to
photograph it. It arched the entire way just like in a
picture book. It jumped into mind that it was given
to me as a remembrance of all I have asked for for you
There it was His Promise so bright in the sky
and full of color. So vivid just as you are.
I can feel our relationship changing and I'm excited and
sad all at the same time. I can hardly wait to see what
our future has in store for us. I imagine we will only
become closer still.

No matter what our future holds you will always be my
Rainbow and I will always be your Mom. Now I know
tomorrow is Mothers day but I wanted to celebrate you.

I Love you,



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