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Saturday, October 31, 2009

All is Well....

Life isn't settling down to much but my heart has.
I feel a peace and trust that all will be well. All is well with
the Lord. I think maybe our van being out was a blessing in
disguise. (course not for my mother who drove us where we needed
to go but..) With the van not working I was able to slow down
and get a feel for our new lives, all the issues and doctors appointments
associated with a new baby and daddy's health conditions. We did
finally get our van back. I sent it for a "minor brake" issue. Which
turned into a major issue. First we thought it was the anti -lock
brake system. So our friend replaced that but it didn't change the
problem of floating. Then a friend told him it might be a sensor.
So he borrowed the equipment to test the sensor. The machine
told him the problem was the right rear wheel. He tried the new
sensor but it wasn't that either. He asked a friend to come and
help . They took all the wiring apart, cleaned and reattached it.
Now it works. I felt sort of bad for my friend who spent all that
time trying to find the issue when the wiring just needed cleaning
Or maybe even just attached more tightly.

This sort of explains how my heart had been feeling. I was so
confused and frustrated. I felt nothing I was doing was enough.
Much of it could have been postpartum but Doctors didn't want
to medicate since part of it could be stress from daddy's condition.
I wouldn't have wanted medication anyway. I knew what I needed.
I needed Gods word. I needed to lean on him.. I needed
my wiring cleaned too. I'm not sure which day it happened but
I suddenly felt peace and am enjoying my family again.
Part of that realization came when a friend at church
expressed her own struggles financially. How hard it was for her
to rely on God to provide. That simply wasn't an issue for me. We
are not sound in anyway financially. In fact as I type this we still
await the results of unemployment's contesting our situation.
Yet I have had peace about that from the start. Maybe it was
all of my friends prayers (and help) or even maybe the insanity of all
the life threatening situations we were going through that money
became a second thought. I have learned to take one day at
a time. If unemployment doesn't come through we will try
something else. We should know Nov. 1 ... so we wait...
I'm not saying I don't think about it because I certainly do but
I am putting it in perspective. Worrying only as it comes.

Daddy's condition has improved a bit this last week. More so
mentally than anything, which is sometimes half the battle.
He seemed to be sleeping long hours, not playing with the
children/baby or participating in life. He has begun to move
about more and has helped out a lot lately especially after I
expressed worry over baby not having anytime with her
daddy . In only a few days I have seen his relationship
with her change. She still on occasion cries when he picks her
up but most of the time she is content and sometimes gives
him that winning smile.

Medically we seem to have the diabetes figured out.
He knows what to do, even as far as telling by how
he is feeling more so than what the meter says. He may feel
odd and say I better check my sugar something doesn't feel right.
Lo and behold he will be to high or low . His salt and fluid intake
seem a little harder for him. Most foods are high in salt. I think
more than a person realizes. Especially when you are putting
salt on your food after its cooked too or even into your food
while you are cooking. When all along there already is a ton of
salt in its contents. This is harder to monitor since we don't have
a salt meter to tell us when its to much or to little. It has definitely
changed how we have had to cook. Trying new ways of cooking
can be fun.. at first it was overwhelming but I realized I had to take
it one thing at a time and learn little by little. We were so set in
how we cooked things but honestly the slightest healthy changes
didn't really affect how our food tasted.

"Sweet Pea" is doing well and growing from week to week.
When she is upset the most adorable little girly squeal comes
out of her. You can't help but go awww... This week she seems
hungry all the time. Like her 4 oz. of formula isn't enough. Today
I pulled out the big bottles and will try adding more milk to
her feedings. I also noticed that she was sucking so hard on her
bottles that the nipples would stay sucked tight for a bit until
some air would open them up again. Luckily I had some
medium flow laying around and that seems to have fixed the
problem. She also has a bit of cradle cap. I have been working on
and off with the baby oil to loosen it up and comb it out. I hate
having that oily stuff on her head all the time. It gets on your
clothes and everywhere. I try doing this over night and then
bathing her in the morning to reduce the oily residue on everything
that she touches. And I just have to say it she is sooo adorable. :)

"Spirit" is back on the potty wagon. I am happy to say that he
has been dry all week long. Nights he still wets but we are working
on that. I tried helping him with this by taking the sippy cups away.
He drinks from an adult cup now or if in the living area a cup with
a lid and straw. Even though we took that night drink away he
is still wetting. It may just be a maturity issue so we will continue
on our path and see what comes of it. If he is dry in the morning
he gets a hershey kiss. Even still he has only had a few
dry mornings. His behaviour is still on the fence. One day he
is sweet as pie and the next.... well you can only imagine. I have
noticed if I spend some extra time with him crafting his mind
is not idle and he is happier then later to play with his toys.

School is going well too. A friend on the blogs told me to take it
easy and I have listened despite not having time to respond to her.
I couldn't listen with Spirit since he seems
to need the hands on activities to balance his mind and body.
I have done so with Superboy and Princess though.
I do have to admit that I have been enjoying this crafting time with
"Spirit" and so have the other children. It has lightened things up. Who
would have thought a few crafts would make us feel that way.
On busy days I give him a set of watercolor paints and off he
goes working and creating. I suppose my children are much
like me in that they need to create to feel at peace.
We have also been reading reading reading, with very few projects.
If we do have a project we want to do we are just taking our time
at it, putting it in a basket and coming back to it as soon as we can.

Another change....
Toad isn't staying with us anymore. He has moved on to a friends
house now. Yet you probably wouldn't realize it with his pile of
things in my schoolroom. :) We are glad he is home from the
military and can't wait to see what he will do in culinary school.
We have been blessed this week to have him, his girl and her little
guy visit once this week. They will also be here for the afternoon
on Saturday. As much as I love him he can be so hyper. He paces
and can hardly sit still. Some days he tires me just watching him.

Tom girl was by too this week and looks like she is ready to be
a mommy. She too said she would be by to visit longer soon.
I hope to snatch a picture of that baby belly for you.

Well that is our update for the week. As you can see not to much
is different or changed , except for perhaps my mind. How
I am thinking and handling things. I am able to look on, smile
through the business, and be glad I have so much to be busy for.
One day I may be sitting alone, looking out a window remembering
those busy days with great joy in my heart for now I'll take them
minute by minute and soak it all in......


  1. I'm so happy that you are taking it easy and that you are now at peace. God doesn't want us rushing around. We actually do get more things done when we take our time and do them slowly.

    I'm glad that you got your van back. I know how hard it is to be without a vehicle and having to rely on someone else.

    I will continue to pray for you and your family.


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